Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Talk

Me
I know this might be a tough conversation for you to have with me, but I really want to make sure that you understand the changes that are happening to your body.  You are becoming a young woman and . . .

Zoe
[Huge eye roll]  I hate that you keep talking to me about this.

Me
Right.  But the problem here is that part of my job is to make sure that you are not the girl that becomes the subject of jokes starting now and ending when you graduate from high school.

Zoe
[Not talking -- scowling at me and starting to bite on a towel]

Me
So, can we have this discussion or should I just leave a book on your bed and hope you read it?

Zoe
[Biting on the towel and kicking the headboard of her bed]

Me
That would be a get the book, correct?

Zoe
[Crying]

Me
Zoe -- if I was trying to have a discussion with you about a hard topic, Grandma's heart disease, for example.  I would understand this reaction.  But I am really trying hard to connect with you and give you an opportunity to ask me questions in a forum that feels comfortable for you. [I heard that last part on Oprah]

Zoe
You should stop trying and leave me alone.  I never want to speak with you about this again. You are the meanest mother I know.

Me
Ok sweetie. I have to run and jump on a conference call.  Good talk.  Love you.

Next topic.   Pre-Teen Crushes.

[Post Script:  Bought the book.  Left it on her bed.  She ripped out the pages, shredded them and left them on my office chair.  It's really a shame.  There are some funny photos in that book.]

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